I turned 65 on September 4. Two days before that I untied Create.Buzz from her slip at Sugarloaf Marina in Diamond City, ran her out to a quiet cove on Bull Shoals Lake, and tied up alone for the first time.
I wanted to know one thing. Can I do this by myself when the time comes? A 113-ton houseboat does not move with the strength of your own arms. You move it with engines and thrusters, and you come in soft, or you do not come in at all. So I went out to find out, and to sit still and think a little, because 65 is a good excuse for both.
Supper, bourbon, and Morgan Wallen
Burgers on the grill, Woodford on the rocks, Morgan Wallen on the speakers, which as far as I am concerned is the lake music. Burgers came off around 8:20 and they were excellent.
I had a project going too. I brought a big LED light out from the marina and sank it in six or seven feet of water off the side. “Light draws bait, bait draws fish, and I figured I would have a show all night.”
The sky is busier than you think
By 9:20 I had killed every light on the boat and climbed to the top deck, and that is where the night got away from me in the best way.
Big Dipper off to the north, clean and sharp. A glow building to the south southeast, the moon letting me know it was coming. In between, the sky was absolutely busy. Airplanes and satellites crossing over one after another on an ordinary Wednesday night.
Everybody should do this now and then. Get somewhere with no light pushing back, turn everything off, look up, and sit with how small we are. Or how large it is. Both answers are correct and both of them are good for you. “Unreal is the only word I wrote down at the time, and I will stand by it.”
You can feel the moon before you see it
The sky started going soft. The Big Dipper dimmed. Stars I had been picking out easily got harder to find, and the satellites and airplanes quit showing up. Nothing had changed except that the moon was getting close to the horizon, already washing out the whole sky ahead of itself.
Arcade Fire, "Wake Up," came on right as the glow turned into something with an edge to it. Could not have timed it better if I had tried.
By 11:20 it was up over the top of the hill, bright and white, with that light line running across the water right at me. Duran Duran was playing, "Save a Prayer." I will not claim I was exactly where I needed to be spiritually in that moment, but “I was grateful to be sitting where I was sitting.”
Morning
Slept on the couch and slept well. Strange and peaceful, waking up on the water in the woods by yourself. Sun came up and replaced the moon, which felt like a fair trade.
The fish experiment was a bust. Minnows everywhere, rolling under the LED all night and into the morning, but no fish. All that bait and nothing came to dinner. I will try a different cove next time.
Around seven I eased her out to the middle of the lake, shut everything down, and had some quiet time. A little meditation, a prayer for everybody out there. Then coffee and some .buzz work up top.
Then back to Sugarloaf, into the slip, soft and slow. Stuck the landing. By myself.
Easier than I expected, and that is a compliment to the boat and not to me. Create.Buzz performed beautifully, no issues start to finish. I went out to test a procedure and came back with a night sky, a late moon, a cove full of minnows, and a better sense of proportion about my own place in things.
Do it by yourself once. You will find out what the lake sounds like when nobody is talking.